nubism

...is that a word?

What about nubist?

...or n00bophile? Heheh, isn't that one of those peeps that hangs out on welcome island to help the new people find their feet?

Ok, ok, i'm only kidding, me and Blu we like the n00bs too, hell.... we can still remember being one, erm two... well, one each ....you know what I mean? It wasn't so long ago that we didn't know jack, (perhaps we still don't,) and I for one, will remain forever grateful to those that gave of their time to help me get started in SL.

So... meet Ebi Ebi, actually that's Mr Ebi to you, 'cos I mean, it'd be rude to call him by his first name until he said it was all right now, wouldn't it ?





Blu and I were out shooting the adverts for some of the Special Editions series, I'd just got my shots, Blu was finishing up 'Glowing'. In flew Ebi, in some odd looking togs (of which alas, I have no photo,) and full of questions like, "What's she doing over there?"
"Erm... taking pictures dude."

As we fitted him out with some half-decent freebies and the ubiquitous firefox tee-shirt, he told us about the outfit he was wearing when he arrived,

"I had a hard enough time figuring out how to choose clothes the first time around. :) " revealed Ebi,
"hehehe, it all comes with practice - it was the same for us too !" says I,
"i just created this 20 minutes ago... i took of my jeans, and i couldn't find them anymore. so i made these pants out of wood."
"fantastic !"
"the shirt is made out of a waterfall."

...we have adored this guy ever since. he has none of that "boys know all about computers, cars, gaming and everything else in the world in general arrogance" that I may have banged on about (repeatedly,) in other posts, just a genuine sense of fun, a healthy helping of inquisitiveness and erm.... a penchant for things bovine. The latter might be my fault now that I think about it, I think I discovered the fabulous 'free to copy' Vertu-Cow a few minutes before we met Ebi, I might inadvertently have had some lasting influence over his formative hours in SL.

A short while later we were at the New Citizens Plaza. Exactly what we were looking for, I do not recall, but I remember that this cute little girlie with the pussy-cat ears and tail gave Ebi an M60 machine-gun. Hmmmmm, perhaps me and the cows weren't so potentially harmful after all.

Our search, the same evening, for Ebi's first Tux was initially unsuccessful. A few months back we'd found an excellent one, in a very posh store, for free. But, things change fast in SL, we weren't even sure that we'd found the right store and if we had, well... there were no more free tuxedos. Still, it's funny what you carry around in your inv, at the New Citizens place I picked up something called 'male gift box' because it contained, (in amongst the drugs, spanking paddles and general freebie-tat,) a sail-boat that I was planning to give to our dear friend Austin. Well, would you adam and eve it? There was a tux in there too! - It would seem that New Citizens Inc is not just a nubist colony ;c)

It was a couple of nights before we caught up with Ebi again. He told us of, "this guy called Lee, he gives you a dollar every 300 seconds if you sit in his chair." We laughed and explained the concept of 'camping chairs,' 'dance pads' and dwell and told him that we do a fair amount of that too in order to keep the coffers topped up, LogSpark International we may be, but we're some way yet from the pair of permanent moorings in the Med!

A few nights later again Ebi confided in Blu that he thought that maybe Mr Lee had got mad at him for camping out too long. We'd given Ebi the mouse-mover software so that he would be able to stay 'active' and therefore keep earning camping money whilst he was afk and he'd spent the weekend in a chair at Greater Hong Kong ... or rather, he thought that's what he was doing. When he came back to his PC on the sunday night he found that he was stuck in the bouncy castle and had the devil's own job to exctricate himself!



Blu kindly confessed for the pair of us... we found him, out of his chair having been ejected on a timeout, (or when it ran out of cash,) and standing, with a crowd of other recently ejected campers, looking vacantly around the place as his avatar's eyes follwed the automated movement of the mouse cursor across the screen.

We were, I have to say, at somewhat of a loose end that night and little by little we had bumped him across Mr Lee's yard to the money tree. We thought that maybe, just maybe he could recoup some of his losses when he 'woke up.' Excitement over we wandered around looking at the 'games within the game' and reading the signs and I marvelled at the idea of the 'free marketerring network' [sic] ...and then we found the bouncy castle. We probably blew another half hour or more getting him back across the yard and into the castle, but oh my... it was well worth the effort.


Last Night, (2006.07.18) Ebi told us he was looking for an outfit for a pink-themed event. I was only joking when I suggested he wore our pink snakeskin catsuit, but always game for a laugh Ebi gave it a go. Blu and I got too involved in clearing up one of my bright ideas that turned out to be a right boo-boo and never made it to the club in time to cast our votes for Ebi. Whether our votes would've made any difference we shall, of course, never know. When we caught up with Ebi, by now in his Pink Floyd tee-shirt and jeans and he told us,


"I wanted to yell out when i didn't win, 'i've stood here for two hours, dancing with a GUY and I didn't even get an honorable mention'"

Blu and I, we were curled up laughing. Blu said she was laughing so hard that she couldn't emit a single sound. It's true, I couldn't hear her!

Ebi - you're a good lad, ever the good sport and we love ya !

Update 2006.07.29 - we let him out on his own the other night.... look what happened,

multi monkey modelling mayhem

...world cup shirts series re-shoot...

and it came to pass that we met a brand new resident at dickens. we were fiddling with the finer details of the store layout and he was clicking around in the store behind us, getting multiple copies of the M2 delivered to himself i think. never wishing to miss out on a potential punter Blu and i ran round the back, dragged him into our shop, loaded him up with LMs and free shirts and showed him how not to wear a box on his head.

he was very reluctant to try on our shirts, even the favourite firefox freebie, for he thought that in a women's clothing store we were giving him girls' shirts. obviously having looked pretty daft with a box on your head, you'd not want to add insult to injury by being cajoled into squeezing your manly frame into a girlie-cut tee, right? Blu had told me a week beforehand that she thought that we might be missing out on half of our potential market by doing all the shirt modelling ourselves,



"we're inadvertnetly giving out the message that they're womens' shirts," she insisted, "we ought to get the guys to model them too"

"yeah, ok that's a good idea," i had said, but not really thinking it was a serious issue. well, i have to tell you, the meeting with Andreas sorted that misapprehension out pretty quickly.

"see Sandry? We need some male models in the adverts!" ...i don't know if i told you about this but the use of the 'n-word' means that it's going to happen. always. without doubt. it will happen. inevitable.

sure enough, a day or so later and it's all arranged for the following saturday night. TC is going to model world-cup shirts for us and so is Drew, and Drew's missus Sasha, (another very good SL friend of ours,) is also going to take part. Blu and i are going to take the shots. come the night in question i'm not exactly looking forward to it, it'll be well-past midnight uk time and i'll be tired and unwilling to find the concentration and motivation required to do an in-house photo-shoot, let alone one with a bunch of folk that've never worked with us before. we get a message from Sasha that Drew's going to be late, so we decide to get together with TC and Sasha anyway and make a start.

"OK. Where shall we go?" is the first question from Blu. you can see already exactly how well-prepared we were for this outing!
"Hmmmm.... i dunno," says i, as the memory of the mention of a soccer stadium wanders idly into my mind, "hang on a mo."

CTRL+F gets me the find tool, "All" is already selected, i type "soccer" and hit enter. there are only a few results. but, one of them is SLSA (Second Life Soccer Association),
"Let's try the soccer stadium :c)" i ad-lib, "perhaps we can take shots in the goal-mouth?"

A couple of clicks and a couple of TP offers later, the four of us descend on the Chicagoan Stadium, much to the combined amusement of owner Michael Kamenev and Gav (also Kamenev) who may, or may not, be his brother, son, nephew, dad... erm, we never bothered to ask.

"hallo!" say the guys, "are you football fans?"
"not really," we mumble, "we came over wondering if we could find somewhere to shoot some photos for adverts. we've been making supporter-shirts for the world cup finals."

it's not easy to tell when an avatar's eyes light up in SL, but we think that these guys' eyes do,
"yeah, no problem!" they say, "help yourselves :c)"

we all talk for a few minutes and out comes the offer of putting up a vendor in the club shop. they lead the way to the stadium's main entrance and there's the shop. you can tell it's the club shop for sure, because it has a big sign over it saying "club shop" ... but it's empty. everyone laughs. we talk a little longer and agree to discuss advertising, credits and promotion on exchange for vendor place and LogSpark boards on the touch-line. the boys go off to do whatever it is that SL stadium owners do late on a saturday night and we get out onto the pitch to see about getting some photos.

as Sasha and TC start kicking a ball about, (Drew still hasn't turned up yet,) i stand in the goal-mouth and pan the camera round to line a up a few test-shots. but, unbeknown to me, the great Blu Sparkle brain is already firing on all cylinders, she's spotted the stadium scoreboard up in the corner and she's buidling a platform where she and the models will stand to take photos and be photographed. we're not going to be doing any of that old posing in the goal-mouth stuff and we're not going to lamely attempt to fake crowds in the stands...

we're gonna do something different. a few minutes later they're all up on the platform and i'm stood on the roof of the spectator stand watching with interest as Blu guides the pieces deftly into position. you can see the stadium name in the background - promotion we offered to Michael and Gav, therefore promotion we shall deliver, - and the gantry for the flood-lights adds a further feel of stadium to the backdrop.

now the fun really starts, we have standard SL chat, IM and a four-way skype conference at our disposal communication is going to be a dream ... no, make that a circus.

on go the england shirts, but TC needs to get his adjusted so that it doesn't show off his hairy belly, - we're shooting attractive promotional photos here, not a lo-budget video-nasty. i bite my lip and fend off the frustration as we hear the grumbles as the SL appearance dialogue runs slow as a 386 on what's supposed to be a hot-rod pc and TC's SL client finally makes its mind up... and crashes.

"Grrrrrrrrr........." IM from Blu.

minutes tick by, TC makes it back onto skype... eventually... and into SL... a bit more eventually... finally (eventually) he gets into appearance and we get our first few shots.



"OK ... what's the next shirt?" asks Blu,
"erm... Argentina please" says i, deciding quickly that we maybe ought to go in alphabetical order if we're to keep this managable.
"Sasha, do you have any modelling poses?"

oh yes, oh hell yes, we're soooo well-prepared for this effort.

well, if she didn't have any when the question was asked, she surely did a few moments later as Ms Sparkle makes a racing-change into top and takes control.
"OK, try pose number 7... no, that's not it, how about number 12? ... great now turn to face TC a bit"

camera shutters whirr

"OK, next shirt. What's the next shirt Sandry? ... Sandry- what's the next shirt?!"
blimey pay attention girl, "Australia, please guys," my hurried reply, "Australia," ...christ i'm supposed to be staff, i'm supposed to be on the case here !
"Can you two turn and face eachother? asks Blu, "Left a bit TC... erm, yeah... ok, try the other left this time"

shutters whirr again, shirts change, TC groans and argues a little and is slightly condescending in his approach to the photographer, Sasha changes the colour of her sneakers for each shirt, (we laugh,) Blu takes increasing control of the situation, Sandry pays strict attention and the circus continues.... albeit slowly.

"LOL. What's going on?" a voice from behind me, i remember not the speakers name.
"They're taking photos of their football shirts for adverts" answers Michael Kamenev.

i pan my cam back, like i said i was paying attention, big-time, to the proceedings, i had no idea that we had company, but a small crowd of bemused SL football players had gathered behind me on the roof of the stands.

"Is Blu Sparkle taking the photos?"
"Yes, i think so"
"Are real photo shoots like this?"
"No, when we worked with Mabel Complain*, she was a right pain in the neck!" quick retort from yours truly,
"LMAO!"
"TC can you put your AO on?"
TC types 'ao on'
...nothing happens...
"Jesus H Christ on a bicycle" IM from Blu
"yes, he came through here earlier, i had to help him pump his tyres up," Sandry cuts her finger on razor-sharp reply.
...no answer from Blu.

Armed finally with AO and earring, shutters whirr once again, Brazil, Czech Republic, France, Germany, Holland... the soccer shoot circus continues. we're half-way there. Drew arrives...

"Hi Baby!" shouts Sasha,
"Hi Drew, we're doing Italy please. CAn you go into appearence and shorten the sleeves on your shirt a touch and make sure it's full length down to the top of your pants."
"S'up Drew,"
"Yo! TC," assorted male greetings ensue and several more precious minutes pass.
"Drew, can you please go into appearance and adjust the shirt to full length. It's OK for Sasha to wear it cropped to show off her girlie midriff, but you boys need to just wear the shirt!"
"I did the length of the sleeves a minute ago when you told me to," there's an audible level of frustration in the reply.
"No, the length of the shirt. the "shirt length!""

Now, one guy in the company of a girl, two girls and three girls too, knows best about computers, cars, life (first and second) and indeed, modelling. Two guys together know three-times more than the combined knowledge of every brilliant binary-bashing brain from Babbage to Bill and beyond... than any number of girls.

skype deteriorates in sound quality and TC is virtually inaudible. Drew's skype connection has a two-second delay. Mine drops the connection entirely and i have to communicate in chat until we can get it back again.

shutters whirr, models pose, Japan... Korea... sneakers change colour, some clown arrives and starts giving Liverpool strips, home and away godammit, to the models.

"Will you wear my shirts next?"
...nobody answers...
"What's the next shirt?" Blu on skype,
"Mexico please guys," Sandry on skype, "Mexico is next up"

shirts change, as do sneakers and shutters whirr some more.

"Will you wear my Liverpool shirt next?"
...no answer...
"Are you guys being paid for this?"
"Who the hell is this guy?" i don't remember who that was, on skype.
"Does that mean you won't help me?"

Sandry Logan leans heavily upon the "Grrrr" key and counts to ten. But, ten isn't enough. Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty... closes eyes momentarily and takes a deep breath,

"Blu and the models are working *very* hard here. Until now we have only ever done photo-shoots with just Blu and I, we know how we work and it goes fairly smoothly. But, this is a big departure from the norm for us andwe have been up here for hours. I am sure that the models will be happy to wear your shirts later but right now our only priority is to finish our shoot of our series."
Blu continues to direct.
...no reply...
"Portugal next please. Portugal shirts guys!"
"ok, bye." the liverpool clown departs.

A communal sigh of relief is audible in the five-way skype conference, Blu continues to direct, models continue to pose, shirts continue to change and shutters continue to whirr. Spain... USA...

"Thank you guys - that's a wrap"
"w00t"
"all right"
"****DAMN****" Blu's famous gesture brings a big laugh. Sasha does back-flips. The models climb down and invade the pitch, Blu dismantles her platform, (carefully) and we all kick the footballs around. Michael Kamenev laughs at us.

Blu was the undisputed hero and champion of the night's proceedings, not to mention da boss. i watched in awe for hours. watched and learned in awe i did. She took control of the situation within a few minutes of the first SL client shennanigans, she directed, she concentrated, she visualised some inspired shots and she got them.

• "Sasha, touch the ribbons in your hair so that you get the dialogue menu to change color, but then stop, don't touch it!" ...this makes the avatar look up you see, - if you're quick you get an interesting shot that you don't see if you're just standing or posing.
• "TC go into appearance and then come straight back out again" ...the avatars have a particular movement as they go in and out of the appearance dialogue, - if you're quick you get an interesting shot that you don't see if you're just standing or posing.
• "Sandry, come up here on the platform, stand next to me and say something." ...when you hit enter the other avatars turn to look at the speaker, - if you're quick you get an interesting shot that you don't see if you're just standing or posing.
• "Drew and TC hit the tab key now" ...the tab key keeps you facing the last person that spoke, - so you don't have to be so quick to get the angle for the good shot.
• "Yes, hit the TAB key!!" ...boys don't always think that girls know what they're talking about, even after several hours of convincing demonstation to the contrary.
• "Perhaps you need to wear your AO?" ...see previous point.

Sasha was a star too, she was on a girlie professional model trip, pretty much from the outset. We're still laughing about the colour-changing sneakers, though sadly they're not visible in any of the shots even before i cropped them into adverts. She stood on her toes for an hour in the early part of the shoot whilst TC fought with his hot-rod for control of the SL client. Oh, and she looks wonderful in everything she wears ;c)

And the boys? well, i've been kinda disparaging here, but i mean no offence and really, you mustn't take any, you know it's all true! OK, seriously now... you did great and we are VERY grateful to you for your efforts. Having you guys in the shoot made a helluva difference - just look at the shots!
















And For Next Time:

1. Brief the models beforehand, on...
   

• Who is in charge, and that fact that the designated person is in charge!
• If the boys are supposed to wear their shirts a particular way, tell them,
• Bring AOs and accessories as required,
• Reboot your PC and relog before we start

2. Build some posing stands with the model poses built-in, that way we can manouvre the models ourselves and avoid some of the hassle caused by trying to get them in the right position when they're already in a pose.

---

*Mabel Complain muddled famous super model. (5,8) ...you work it out.